Tug of war of the emotion
“…As we are always busy at work and it seems that we awre so intelligent that we always protect our mind aimlessly so that we are stressful. If we do not control our mind, at least we are restless, and worse than that, we may have conflicts with people around us, such as our colleagues, neighbors, spouses, relatives, pet animals, even more, our stuffs are thrown away deliberately. That is why the Buddha taught us to note our breathing-in and breathing-out in order to know our own intrinsic nature, which will bring either happiness and suffering to us in both present life and future life as long as we still cling to all things. “Citta,” a short word, it is a knower, an abstract state, a knowing element, it have to know outside, it can’t stay without doing anything. In an early state of practice, citta always wanders to know things; it is not passive, not mature enough, comparing to a naughty boy who always annoys his parents, playing around here and there until he is tired then falls asleep that, at this time, parents will have time freely to relax.
Similarly, citta, mind is needed to provide an object for it to play with. For example, let it be with the breathing-in and-out moment, by silently reciting the word (parikamma). For example, when breathing in, silently recite the word” BUD” and when breathing out, recite the word “DHO” by applying “sati” which is mindfulness, and “sampajañña” which is an awareness sustaining the mind like parents supporting their beloved son. You have to note the breath clearly where it reaches, then apply the sati in observing the mind whenever it wanders off. When you leave out the parikamma word, then be aware of it (sampajañña) by controling the mind back to the present moment. Try to be mindful, whenever the mind is wandering, we have to control the mind back again and again just likes tug-of-war. Whenever your mind wandering to your work, family, love, hate, bad, good, to the past, and future, we must try to switch your mind back to the present moment. That is to practice the breathing- in by reciting the word “BUD” and breathing out by reciting the word “DHO” for 5 or 10 minutes a day regularly. For those who are quite skilful, having powerful faculties; still need to practice more and more until the mind is in peace and in deep concentration. It will be a great beneficial and wholesome for yourself. Although, the mind is not peaceful and not in deep concentration, do not be depressed yet as this will make you stressful and tension. You should think positively that at least you do not cause any harm to others but at least you have peaceful mind for tackling your work in the next day. At least you can see the nature of your mind which always wandering here and there. At least you have learnt how to control your mind, to know the disappointment incurred from unable to please yourself from wandering, but you have to control your emotion and thought when you meditate.
Generally, people indulge themselves to do whatever they like to do, to think whatever they want to think. But they still complain that they are suffering, they are not pleased in whatever they do. Therefore, we should do as the Buddha taught. Let us practice gradually from 5 to 10 minutes per day. It does not harm anything, except that your kilesa or defilements might not be satisfied with your rebellion. Due to the fact that, when we practice meditation, we work against the stream of thought and old perception. Don’t think aimlessly but control the thought to the present moment of breathing-in and breathing-out by reciting words of BUD….. DHO. You have to be patient and suppress yourself whenever you want to rise up, to walk, to travel here and there. Certainly, you will not die because of this.
If you practise more often, contemplate more and more, your mindfulness (sati), and awareness (sampajañña) will become powerful and enable to know your state of the mind and enable to control it. Your mind will gradually be developed to good quality according to the level of wisdom. Whenever anything bothers you, you are able to stop yourself and able to consider reasonably of the possible outcomes before saying or doing anything. If your mind constantly be developed, you will know that the world is impermanent, imperfect. Nothing is extremely bad and good but everything is a mixture of both good and bad. We cannot set everything as the way we want it to be. That is why Lord Buddha taught us to be calm and stable in order to know and to see the changes of all things clearly and the differences of suffering (dukkha) and happiness (sukkha). Finally, we will know how to let it go according to the level of wisdom, faith and endeavour of oneself. The more we let go, the more we are happy. The less you release, the less happiness and more grief you have. All I have said, you can practice and see by yourself. Evaŋ! let it be so!…”
March 8, 2006